Once upon a time In a Galaxy not so far far far away...........

There existed a gnome who we knew from the beginning was different.  But why we did not know.  This gnome was named VALMORE.

Valmore seemed to have special abilities a sort of "powers" if you will.  He dawned swords the blazed that he claimed were given to him by his father that he constantly referred to as his "lightsabers".  But it wasn't until just recently that the mystery that is Valmore unfolded.

Merciless Midget Guild Chat Logged 1/10/05

Healem:  God I can't wait to go and get me some gnomish @$$ tonight WOOT!

Snipem:  Oh yea that sounds good boss long day at work today clensing talls.

Slashem:  I can't wait to get me 33 peices of @$$ tonight!

Valmore:  Fine Midget sirs when you say "Getting @$$" what exactly are you referring to?

Healem: HAHAHAH GOOD ONE VAL... I swear this guy cracks me up.

Valmore:  No I'm serious sir.....

Snipem:  Umm.... Valmore where the hell do you think you came from?

Valmore:  Well according to my mother I was dropped off at the front porch of IronForge by a large bird of some sort... A stork I believe she called it.

Healem:  Good god are you shitting me.....Its enough I train the MM in PVP but now I gotta train you on how to.... well... run a train?  Alright Valmore check it out..... YOUR MOM most had sexual relations with a male of some sort which is why you are here and which is what I propose to do tonight minus the whole baby gnome thing.

Valmore: GOOD GOD!  An illusionary rod in MY mother... You don't say....

Angry at the World Valmore used his Jedi Lightning powers on a tall.

Later that night Valmore confronted his mother to find out that indeed 6 months (gnomish pregnancies are shorter) earlier she did in fact have sexual relations with man who called himself only Misure Juan Claude Yodan.

Valmores Mother:  Valmore he pretented to be French.  You know how I get with those accents of theirs.  He told me he owned a modeling agency and he thought I had some real talent.  We had a nice dinner and then we went back to my place.  I really didn't think anything would happen and I told him that I wasn't ready for any sexual relations but he just waved his hand at me and said "Sex with me you will have" and I felt compelled to give it up!

Valmore:  I DON"T BELIEVE IT....I WON'T BELIEVE IT!  LIES ALL LIES.

Upset again at filthy Female gnomes he then commanded legions of Female Gnomes to cast purple shields around themselves which protects them from the french!

Valmore then immediately traveled to the home of this individual to find out more of his heritage.

Master Yoda:  *Hiccup*  F*ck What The?

Valmore:  Ummm.... Dad...... Years ago you do you remember a young gnome by the name of Humpem?

Master Yoda:  Ah... Much kinkyness there was.... Enjoy myself I did.  Expect you I did not.

Valmore:  Well yea dad.... here I am.... and well.... I want to know how to use these powers I have.

Master Yoda:  Teach you I will.... Collect child support you will not...... Agreed?

So Valmore waved his child support in exchange for the teaching of Master Yoda.  After many months training with Master Yoda he returned to the Merciless Midgets with his powers refined!

Valmore now contained powers greater than we ever expected!  He could use his Jedi-Push to push all the tauren in tight little balls!

Merciless Midget Guild Chat Log 03/10/05

Healem:  Valmore where have you been there have been hundreds of talls you have missed killing

Valmore:  *Waves his hand* You will promote me to Jedi-Master Valmore.

Healem:  And by the way Valmore isn't it time you got promoted to some cool new guild title I can make like Jedi-Master?

Slashem:  HEY I still dont' have a cool guild title!

Valmore:  *Waves his hand*  Slashem.... My orders you will obey.

Slashem:  Pfffft  I'm mormon your mind tricks don't work on me! 

And so Valmore became known throughout the lands as a Jedi-Master using mid tricks and jedi powers throughout the lands of Azeroth. 

And as for the proof of Master Yoda being his father.  This disturbing picture was mailed to him with yoda's hand writing on the Back saying "Valmore.... I am your FATHER"